Right of Reply

I’ve been blogged about again but this time I didn’t blow my top. (I felt misrepresented last time so I shared that post with a few online friends and the best reply I got was, “But he called you gorgeous.” Yeah, that wasn’t what I was annoyed about. Men!) We got together - a little reluctantly on my part I must admit - and sorted things out. I think we’re closer for it. I think he got a better idea of ME. Not sure what impression I was giving. I never do, being so shy I suppose most people just make assumptions to fill in the gaps.

I do like spending time with him. It doesn’t quite sound like he knows where he stands with me. Okay listen Gaz we ARE friends. I like getting presents for friends and I like having a laugh with them. And there is NO WAY IN HELL I would ever wear that badge. (I told you I was embarrassed buying the bloody things).

It’s so weird to read about yourself. I can’t help thinking, “Is that what you think?” I’m not sure how I come across in that post. At first I thought sweet but now I’m thinking immature, weird and way TOO SHY*. I willingly put my hand up to being shy and a slight nod of consent to being weird. I only say immature because of his comments about the gifts I got him when I was overseas. Well the one that he said was “sweetest” and something his children would get him. It was meant to be funny and express my passion for tackiness.

Maybe it just doesn’t work reading each others blogs, although I do love getting together to talk and drink lattes. I can admit I don’t enjoy reading about Garry pursuing other women. I don’t understand men because from what I can tell they don’t seem to mind reading about when I do it. Could you end up censoring yourself? I know the more people I tell about my blogs the more chance there is that I’ll reconsider some of my words and revelations. I long for a bigger audience, but one made up of strangers.

Anyway back to what I was saying about Garry. We haven’t done anything naughty. So when I think about it I’m surprised he still likes to see me. Now I hope I’m not reading the situation wrong but he has said he’s happy to just be friends, especially if sex ends the relationship. It could because I am so bad and ill at ease during sex that I know we’d both regret it, for our own reasons. Mine mostly being naked ones.

*Perhaps just a prick tease. God how did that happen? I have zero self confidence. The closet I get to flirting is turning bright pink while looking at my hands.