TGIF

Am I right or am I right?

This morning I wasn't really in the mood for work but I dragged my sorry arse in. I even ended up getting there early. It's now my seventh day on the job. And so far I've been stressing myself out over my anxiety to ask questions when I need assistance. It would be good if I could say my training just went out the window but that would mean I left training actually trained. If you knew how much I was freaking out during that. Like, I know it is okay to cry, but man in training in front of your team mates it's just embarrassing! In my defence it was near the end of a very long day that had left me feeling steadily worse.

I closed an order tonight, and I think I did it as well as I could. :-) You'll have to excuse me this sounds like my therapy talking but I actually feel like I achieved something at work today. It did take the asking that I was too scared to do in the first place but I don't care. As long as I survive this, (six month contract), long enough to feel comfortable with what I am doing. I'm picking up little things from re-doing my work. And it's a bit easier asking for help now. I have been feeling guilty for wasting company time. (Which I would be doing right now if I hadn't closed that order; I'm technically free to do what I want as long as I look busy and don't look up porn on the Internet. To ease us into the job our daily target is one contract a day. After which is free time).

It's nice to be in a better mood. Fridays are good by nature but I'm feeling a bit better about myself at work. Not like last Friday when my joy sprang from the fact I was getting away from it because I didn't think I could cope another day.